Life Changes People

After the birth of my baby girl, I felt like my husband did less and less for me and our kids than ever before. He came up to the hospital 1 time while she was in the NICU. I had to find all of the childcare arrangements and figure out everything that was going on with the kids, from a hospital room. He showed NO concern for me having to stay at the hospital with a sick baby or having to make sure to eat and pump enough for her. He seemed concered about himself and his work more than me and our 4 kids. I just can't imagine being that way. I have always put others before myself and I don't have that kind of mantallity that he has. I felt our relationship take a turn for the worse through all of this and it just got worse when Tahlayne got RSV and had to be put back in the hospital, this time Scottish Rite Childrens. While we were there, I couldn't leave her side due to her being on oxygen again and me nursing her full time. She was only 5 weeks old and I was not about to leave her with nurses. Dante' complained te whole time about me being away from him and the boys and that I didn't need to be there all the time and should come home and take care of them. I had to again make all the childcare arrangements and was very stressed out. He NEVER came uo to the hospital to see how she or I was doing the whole time we were there. I did end up going home and getting the kids and bringing them back up tot the hospital for a day. It was like a jail cell with 4 kids and myself cramped in a little room. We finally got to leave that day. I though we were going to have to be in their for Christmas, But God was watchingout for us. I lost a lot of respect for Dante' after this. Christmas was not very good, he was unhappy for most of it and the tension between the 2 of us was vey thick. The kids enjoyed themselves but Kavonte' made a statement that will stick with me for the rest of my life he said, "They don't like each other very much " referring to me and Dante'. Not a fun Christmas for me.

nov 2009

This is my first blog ever so bare with me. I went camping with Kavonte' and his cub scouts the 8th of Nov. on the 9th of Nov. My sweet baby girl Tahlayne Rochelle came into the world. She weighed 7lbs. 6oz. She came out very quickly and had fluid on her lungs. So, she had to be taken to the NICU for 5 days. I had her on Sunday and we went home finally on Friday. This was the worst week of my life thus far. She had several different iv's the worst for me was the one in her head. They say this is a good place for them because they don't move around so much and cause it to come out or become backed up as much. I did get to nurse her but she also had a feeding tube put in that she received my breast milk and a little formula also. During this week in the hospital my mom was a true life saver along with friends and other family. My husband came up to the hospital 1 time and that is when I knew my life was not what I had dreamed it would be.
We finally got to go home and the kids loved her, well, all except Rocky. =0) Every time we got near him with her, he screamed bloody murder. He wanted nothing to do with her. This went on for a couple of days and then one day he went and sat beside her on the couch and just started rubbing her head and saying baby. He now calls her baby LaLa and loves her to death. I had been waiting a long time for God to bless me with a baby girl and now that He has I feel like my family is complete.